Don’t go out, stay in! You’ll save effort, money, the planet, and have a MUCH better time.
1. There’s more wine and cheese in your mouth, less beer spilled down your shirt by a random stranger in some awful bar you only went to because your friends made you.
2. Books have riveting dialogue, real life just has awkward conversations.
Book person: “What are you reading at the moment?”
Regular person: “I LIKE SPORTS”
3. Your home has a comfy chair. You don’t want to gamble with the comfort of your buttocks. Social butterflies are referred to as ‘butterflies’ because their sore butts prevent them for sitting for long periods, giving the illusion of flight. #fact
4. Books can provide you a night of riveting entertainment and enjoyment for not much money. The price of one drink in the city on a Friday night is $37.50. #fact
5. You can wear whatever you want. WHATEVER YOU WANT. Try getting into a bar wearing underpants, an old shirt and ugg boots. Wait, scratch that because I just described modern fashion.
6. When you’ve finished reading your book, home is all around you. When you finish at the bar, you still have a journey home to worry about. And what happens if you fall asleep on the train? WHAT HAPPENS?
7. Speaking of finishing, you can stop reading whenever you want, whereas people will force you to stay out longer than you planned for “one more drink”.
8. You spend your entire time doing the thing you love, instead of 75% of your time trying to get the attention of bartenders and waiters.
9. Social butterflies create a lot of pollution with all the transport and power they use. So book loving shut-ins are essentially saving the world.